Archive for the ‘Essays’ Category

Any number of people have commented on the fact that my sister Stacey is the rockin’-est. And I generally respond with my favorite way to describe Stacey: My sister is like a pinata. She’s hard to get open… but there’s candy inside. And why is she hard to get open? Well… we’re Yankees, start with […]


I have entered this essay in The Great Experiment! I know, I know… it’s long, even for my loghorrific standards. But I think it goes somewhere interesting, if you’ve got the time to go along too. If you like it, please click over to The Girl Who and vote for me — there’s $175 on […]


A note to Flamby’s many fans: I am consistently surprised and pleased that this post is so popular — its very rewarding to see how many hits it gets. I should state right up front that I do NOT have the rights to Flamby’s portrait at the bottom — so if you’re copying this for […]


\ +++++++ Hey! Steve Perry! Yeah, I’m talking to YOU, buster. Listen, I’ve been doing some checking and you seem like a good egg: Warm… Goofy… And from my own “I’m married, not dead” perspective, nummy like massa sovada! Crinkles! The eyes of a man who knows how to laugh! I’ll assume you’re also a […]


\ Thank you for your interest in my Steve Perry essays! They are alive and thriving in their new home… Chosen Madness Love, Lunacy, and Steve Perry | | |


A very few times in my life, someone has said something actually useful to me. When I was in my mid-20s (yes, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth…) my grandmother died. I was sad. She was old, she had been sick most of her life, it wasn’t a surprise… but I was still sad, and […]


I found a post that suggested declaring “Don’t Stop Believin’” our new national anthem. Now, I don’t have anything in particular against Don’t Stop Believin’ (except for the fact that I’m sick to death of it, thank you Sopranos and White Sox and Glee and Rock of Ages…) but I’m a little confused about the […]