More Crazy Crap My Husband Wakes Himself Up Saying: Banner Night!


It’s been a banner night here on the couch. We’re watching NASA’s Unexplained on the Science channel — did you know, by the way, that the surface of Mars can form dust devils up to three miles tall? I know.

Well, something about the space mysteries, combined with a long, long day after a late night of Unitarian-Universalist Standing Committee action made for a whole bunch of tuckered talking:

He: “Bipeds. That’s why it’s so hard…” (starts laughing)
Me: “Bipeds?”
He: (still laughing) “Yes. That’s why it’s so hard for them to bowl. But quadrupeds. I said bipeds.”
Me: “But you meant quadrupeds?”
He: “You know what I meant.”
Me: “I really, really don’t.”


He: “Who’s in the shopping cart? It doesn’t make a difference. I need to go to bed.”
Me: “No, don’t go to bed! You’re very entertaining!”


(I’m watching an ad for a show about a man base-jumping off Everest.)

Me: “But WHY?”
He: “Because he’s a self-important moron. What?”
Me: “Guy wants to base-jump off Everest. Want to change your assessment?”
He: “Noo… that’s about right.”


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