The Possum Chronicles: Possum’s Joke Filtration Service


If you’re like me, God help you.

No! No no, heh heh, what I meant to say was:

If you’re like me, you love a funny joke. But sometimes, don’t those jokes seem just a little too hilarious? Kind of overwhelmingly clever? Just a skosh overboard with the knee-slapping and whatnot? Boy, I’ll tell you, sometimes I wish there were a way to strain all the funny right out of there!

Well, the next time you’re dragging yourself up to the podium to lay out another crowd-pleaser, plan ahead and call Possum’s Joke Filtration Service.

And how does it work? Well, it’s just a little matter of developmental psychology. See, the average adult brain knows how to compare and connect, understands idiom and common language patterns, and stores a wealth of pop-culture references for easy retrieval.

Possum’s brain doesn’t have much of that stuff at all… because she’s five. Five year olds are notoriously bad at telling jokes, partly because they have no clue at all why a joke is funny. Or more to the point, not funny, and if you can’t find the funny, it’s a sure bet you’re not going to tell the funny. Also they rarely remember all the words. Also they yell “Get it?” at the tops of their tiny lungs just to make sure you know that that’s the end of the joke.

Here’s a sample of what Possum’s Joke Filtration can do for you — imagine that instead of going up to the podium yourself, you send Possum instead, and she says this (verbatim, I promise):

There was a plane full of apples, oranges, and bombs. And then there was a guy walking and he saw another man on a bench and the man on the bench was holding his head. And the other man, the first man, said “what’s wrong?” and the man on the bench said “apples and oranges hit me on my head!” And then the man, kept walking, and he saw a man and said “what’s wrong?” and the other man said “my grandma farted and the house blew up! Get it? Get it?”

Then she does an imitation of uncontrollable laughter because she knows she’s supposed to laugh uncontrollably but isn’t sure why.

Now flash yourself forward to next year’s Rotary Club New Member Dedication dinner. Who are they going to ask to do the honors? Well you know one thing for sure — it ain’t gonna be you! Thanks to Possum’s Joke Filtration Service, you are officially Funny-Free!


3 Responses to “The Possum Chronicles: Possum’s Joke Filtration Service”

  1. Interesting….
    a Funny Jokes
    A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.

    An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.

    As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, “Are they relatives of yours?”

    “Yes,” his wife replied. “I married into the family.”

  2. 2 Mike H

    Ironically, Deb, your *quoting* of Possum’s joke is *hilarious*…

  3. 3 Deborah Bancroft

    I can see the ironic hilarity but that is purely un-ironic quoting — she really said exactly that.

    Or do you mean that it’s ironic that I’m quoting, for the entertainment of my readers, this completely unfunny joke which is, ironically, hysterically funny in its non-funniness?

    O what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to live in a Post-Bush socio-politico-economic culture.

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